Jokes, please

 :: Main Forums :: Jokes

Page 11 of 12 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... , 10, 11, 12  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Ticky on Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:49 pm

like the irishman who died of asbestosis....they tried to cremate him but he would'nt burn...
avatar
Ticky
Founder
Founder

Posts : 7665
Join date : 2011-08-02
Location : perth

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Guest on Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:48 pm

Politically correct social worker gets sent to check on a couple and their two year old daughter after a complaint by a neighbour about the father.

She walks up the path and knocks on the door. The mother answers. Social worker says" I am here to check on your daughter"...mother replies " He's just bathing her at the moment". Social worker pushes past her and steps into the bathroom to be confronted by a room full of steam. The father has two fingers in the girls nostrils and is dragging her back and forth up and down the bath. The social worker shouts "Why on earth are you doing that"...the father replies " Well if I bathe her any other way I'll scald myself."....(sick mental health joke)

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Guest on Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:39 pm

shows people a bit of the real me.. bit weird with a sick sense of humour Very Happy


You are definitely in the right place then...lol

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Guest on Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:36 pm

I like that I do!

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  hicc's on Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:02 pm

One day two old ladies met up for a spot of lunch, one of the ladies said to the other

"Did you come on the bus"

The other lady replied

"Yeah but I made it look like an asthma attack"





(Yeah I know I've probably put this up before but I likes it)
avatar
hicc's

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2011-08-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  hicc's on Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:52 pm

avatar
hicc's

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2011-08-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Ticky on Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:04 pm

Boots wrote: lol! lol! lol!

oh Hiccs..how I've missed you!



yeah....me too.....
avatar
Ticky
Founder
Founder

Posts : 7665
Join date : 2011-08-02
Location : perth

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  hicc's on Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:03 pm

Took me a while to remember how to put up a picture...lol

I like my funnies.. shows people a bit of the real me.. bit weird with a sick sense of humour Very Happy
avatar
hicc's

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2011-08-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Boots on Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:00 pm

lol! lol! lol!

oh Hiccs..how I've missed you!
avatar
Boots
Founder
Founder

Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-08-03
Location : NSW Australia

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  hicc's on Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:55 pm

avatar
hicc's

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2011-08-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  hicc's on Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:53 pm

avatar
hicc's

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2011-08-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  hicc's on Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:26 pm

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied. "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked
as jaybirds fifty years ago."
Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?"
Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee
and the other is in your oatmeal!"

avatar
hicc's

Posts : 4587
Join date : 2011-08-03

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  peace on Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:58 am

LOL an oldie but a real goodie foxie.
avatar
peace
Founder
Founder

Posts : 1388
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  foxidrive on Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:36 am

Cricket is quite simple.

You have two sides, ours and theirs, one out in the field and one in.

Each man in the side that's in goes out, and when he is out, he
comes in. Then the next man goes in, until he goes out.

Then, when they have all been in and are all out, the side that has
been in the field comes in, and the side that's been in goes out,
and tries to get out those coming in.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

Then, when both sides have been in and out, including not
outs,that's the end of the game.

It's really quite simple.
avatar
foxidrive
Founder
Founder

Posts : 741
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  foxidrive on Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:35 am

Thanks peace, Happy New Year's eve to you too!
avatar
foxidrive
Founder
Founder

Posts : 741
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  peace on Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:12 am

bad luck foxy-they reckon you've got a couple more days during the last couple hrs before dawn but if you cant turn of the car park lights-wont help.

happy new years eve of new years day to you.
avatar
peace
Founder
Founder

Posts : 1388
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  foxidrive on Fri Dec 30, 2011 6:35 pm

peace wrote:LOL foxy-did you get to see the comet?

No peace, there's too much light from the carpark and the hwy, I found. Couldn't see anything.

Happy 2nd last day of 2011!
avatar
foxidrive
Founder
Founder

Posts : 741
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Guest on Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:26 am

Ticky wrote:
Rumi wrote:You already are damned

awww c'mon sweety, you know i prefer the soft whip to the cane....


Is that dairywhip you are talking about Tick?

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  peace on Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:23 am

LOL foxy-did you get to see the comet?
avatar
peace
Founder
Founder

Posts : 1388
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  foxidrive on Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:35 am

When men talk to their friends, they insult each other.
They don't really mean it.
When women talk to their friends, they compliment each other.
They don't mean it either.
avatar
foxidrive
Founder
Founder

Posts : 741
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Ticky on Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:03 pm

Rumi wrote:You already are damned

awww c'mon sweety, you know i prefer the soft whip to the cane....
avatar
Ticky
Founder
Founder

Posts : 7665
Join date : 2011-08-02
Location : perth

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Guest on Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:47 pm

You already are damned

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Ticky on Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:46 pm

well i'll be dammed...somebody DOES read the daft jokes out of xmas crackers....
avatar
Ticky
Founder
Founder

Posts : 7665
Join date : 2011-08-02
Location : perth

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  foxidrive on Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:05 pm

"See here, waiter, I've found a button in my salad."
"That's all right, sir, it's part of the dressing."

Who is the greatest chicken-killer in Shakespeare?
Macbeth, because he did murder most foul.

If William Penn's aunts kept a pastry shop, what would be the prices of their pies?
The pie-rates of Penn's Aunts.

HE: "I am a millionaire. Haven't I got money enough for both of us?'"
SHE: "Yes, if you are moderate in your tastes."

WIFE: "You loved me before we were married!"
HUSBAND: "Well, now it's your turn!"

Pawnbrokers prefer customers without any redeeming qualities.

SERVANT: "Ma'am, your husband has eloped with the cook!"
WIFE: "Good! Now I can have the maid to myself, once in a while."

What is the difference between a tube and a foolish Dutchman?
One is a hollow cylinder and the other a silly Hollander.
avatar
foxidrive
Founder
Founder

Posts : 741
Join date : 2011-08-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Ticky on Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:03 pm

avatar
Ticky
Founder
Founder

Posts : 7665
Join date : 2011-08-02
Location : perth

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jokes, please

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 11 of 12 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... , 10, 11, 12  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 :: Main Forums :: Jokes

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum